Walking on Eggshells: When threenagers strike... and how I survive
When my son was born he was an answer to our prayers. Some of you know that my first pregnancy/delivery/child did a number on me. I was constantly sick and nauseous and puffy and at 38 weeks I was admitted into the hospital with Pulmonary Embolisms which kick-started my 12 day labor/delivery/surgery debacle. But that's another story for another time.
After my hellish hospital stay, I was finally able to come home with my first beautiful baby, daughter Addalyn Grace. But the hell continued... she wouldn't latch when I tried nursing her and when I was able to successfully feed her or give her pumped milk I worked so hard to produce, she would spit up everything. Between the starving, screaming and acid reflux, there wasn't much sleep going on as you can imagine. When her weight gain was non existent we reluctantly had to switch to formula. It was the worst 3 months of my life.
So 2 years later when I approached my hubby about getting pregnant again, he looked at me like I was crazy. We hadn't decided on no more kids, but the first time was so rough on all of us that he thought we would wait a little longer. I was thinking differently. I wanted another chance! Another chance at a normal delivery, another chance at being discharged from the hospital on time, another chance at breastfeeding and another chance to have my baby fall asleep on my chest without screaming in my ear. I know parenting is hard on everyone but I felt like I had been robbed of any sort of normalcy with my first child. I hope this doesn't sound like I have hard feelings towards my daughter because that's not true at all. But like I said, that's another story for another time.
I had been praying for a year that God would allow me to get pregnant again, that I would have an easier pregnancy, that I would have a safe and healthy delivery and baby and that I would get to enjoy the amazing results and bonding experience that comes from nursing. Well, God showed his faithfulness to me.
That's why when our sweet, gentle and kind Clayton Kohl came into the world, he was an answer to many prayers! It seemed like all he wanted to do was eat, sleep and cuddle. There were moments when I would be doing something like changing him or giving him a bath or putting him in the car seat and I would think, "Man, Addalyn would be screaming her head off right now." He was just so easy-going and laid back! We praised and thanked God for giving us what he knew we needed at that time in our lives. And boy, did it bring me joy watching my babies become BFF's and love each other.
As Clayton got older we quickly realized he enjoyed being goofy
and making people laugh. He continued to be a great eater, bedtime for him was a breeze and he was content letting me snuggle him for hours! But something happened a few weeks ago that changed all of this...
Our sweet, kind, gentle, goofy, easy-going Clayton Kohl TURNED 3 YEARS OLD!
If you've ever had a 3 year old (or worse, have one right now), you know what I'm talking about. The Terrible Two's have NOTHING on Threenagers. Something happens to these kids... how can I explain this... it's like invisible aliens suck the soul out of these munchkin bodies and replace it with a cross between a Gremlin, a Minion and a 16 year old girl going through puberty who just got broken up with by her boyfriend. THERE ARE NO RULES ANYMORE. You can't do anything right, even if you are doing exactly what they asked you to do, it's still not right and it's the end of the world. And for the love of God, NEVER try telling them 'NO'... that's the secret word that triggers their brainwashing, psychotic reactions.
How to survive:
-Run away
-Hide in a closet
-Give into the regime and let them run the house and family
After those didn't work I did some research and tried a handful of tips that kept popping up in almost every book, blog and article I read. Turns out doctors and psychologists actually know what they are talking about;).
I used to yell at Addalyn and get super anxious when she had meltdowns but I realized that only
escalates the situation. Explanations and discipline won't work until they are completely calmed down and can listen to what you are saying. And REMEMBER TO TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM! They aren't able to control themselves at this age... Meltdowns are literally just the product of their developing bodies not being able to understand or communicate all the new emotions they are experiencing.
What I also found during my research is that I'm not alone! I came across hundreds of parents going through the same thing. Sometimes it makes the situation ten times better just knowing somewhere out there is a parent frantically pulling every toy out of the play area and every item out of the pantry trying to prevent their Threenager from becoming the Hulk. Parenthood is so much more amazing when we can support each other and lament together!
If any of you out there do have a 3 year old currently, I'd like to send you virtual hugs. Let's pray for a quick transition, an injury-less year and coming out the other side with at least a tiny bit of sanity left ♥
 |
| Prego me with Addalyn (Left) and Clayton (Right). What a difference! |
So 2 years later when I approached my hubby about getting pregnant again, he looked at me like I was crazy. We hadn't decided on no more kids, but the first time was so rough on all of us that he thought we would wait a little longer. I was thinking differently. I wanted another chance! Another chance at a normal delivery, another chance at being discharged from the hospital on time, another chance at breastfeeding and another chance to have my baby fall asleep on my chest without screaming in my ear. I know parenting is hard on everyone but I felt like I had been robbed of any sort of normalcy with my first child. I hope this doesn't sound like I have hard feelings towards my daughter because that's not true at all. But like I said, that's another story for another time.
I had been praying for a year that God would allow me to get pregnant again, that I would have an easier pregnancy, that I would have a safe and healthy delivery and baby and that I would get to enjoy the amazing results and bonding experience that comes from nursing. Well, God showed his faithfulness to me.
That's why when our sweet, gentle and kind Clayton Kohl came into the world, he was an answer to many prayers! It seemed like all he wanted to do was eat, sleep and cuddle. There were moments when I would be doing something like changing him or giving him a bath or putting him in the car seat and I would think, "Man, Addalyn would be screaming her head off right now." He was just so easy-going and laid back! We praised and thanked God for giving us what he knew we needed at that time in our lives. And boy, did it bring me joy watching my babies become BFF's and love each other.As Clayton got older we quickly realized he enjoyed being goofy
and making people laugh. He continued to be a great eater, bedtime for him was a breeze and he was content letting me snuggle him for hours! But something happened a few weeks ago that changed all of this...
Our sweet, kind, gentle, goofy, easy-going Clayton Kohl TURNED 3 YEARS OLD!
If you've ever had a 3 year old (or worse, have one right now), you know what I'm talking about. The Terrible Two's have NOTHING on Threenagers. Something happens to these kids... how can I explain this... it's like invisible aliens suck the soul out of these munchkin bodies and replace it with a cross between a Gremlin, a Minion and a 16 year old girl going through puberty who just got broken up with by her boyfriend. THERE ARE NO RULES ANYMORE. You can't do anything right, even if you are doing exactly what they asked you to do, it's still not right and it's the end of the world. And for the love of God, NEVER try telling them 'NO'... that's the secret word that triggers their brainwashing, psychotic reactions.How to survive:
-Run away
-Hide in a closet
-Give into the regime and let them run the house and family
After those didn't work I did some research and tried a handful of tips that kept popping up in almost every book, blog and article I read. Turns out doctors and psychologists actually know what they are talking about;).
- I spoke softly and calmly (this actually lowered my own stress and anxiety substantially)
- I rubbed his back gently
- I took him to the safest room in the house (both of my kids have a history of slamming bodies to the floor so I learned to quickly find padded carpet)
- I asked him what he needed (one time literally all he wanted was a snack and drink, and it was a great diversion from the meltdown)
- I sat with him quietly until he was done
I used to yell at Addalyn and get super anxious when she had meltdowns but I realized that only
escalates the situation. Explanations and discipline won't work until they are completely calmed down and can listen to what you are saying. And REMEMBER TO TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM! They aren't able to control themselves at this age... Meltdowns are literally just the product of their developing bodies not being able to understand or communicate all the new emotions they are experiencing.
What I also found during my research is that I'm not alone! I came across hundreds of parents going through the same thing. Sometimes it makes the situation ten times better just knowing somewhere out there is a parent frantically pulling every toy out of the play area and every item out of the pantry trying to prevent their Threenager from becoming the Hulk. Parenthood is so much more amazing when we can support each other and lament together!
If any of you out there do have a 3 year old currently, I'd like to send you virtual hugs. Let's pray for a quick transition, an injury-less year and coming out the other side with at least a tiny bit of sanity left ♥
Comments
Post a Comment