Hot Mess Mamma's... and why we should love them without judgement
Hi! My name is Kirsty (that's pronounced K-ear-stee), and I'm a Hot Mess Mamma.
*In harmonious response: "Hi Kirsty"*
I didn't used to be a hot mess mamma... until I became a mamma. 😬😞 But seriously, when I became a mom for the first time I realized I was waaaaaaayyyyy under prepared. It took me like 2 years to get a decent routine down and not have anxiety during the simplest task like my toddler's bedtime.... and by that time I was preggo with my second babe.
I worked full time throughout both of my pregnancies and returned to working full time after Maternity Leave both times. Let me just state this fact: I don't care who you are or how much help you have, full time working mom's are Hot Mess Mamma's, no argument. Even if you think you have it all figured out and are good, you're still messing something up somewhere. (You're welcome for the encouragement).
But I was used to working full time and missing out on certain things with my munchkins. I hated it, but I got used to it. Like volunteering in preschool classroom parties, or going on field trips. And if I was really working hard at home and killing it as a mommy, then my work at my daytime job was lacking. There was never a good balance.
Well, ten months ago something magical happened. I won't bore you with the financial details, but it worked out that I was able to quit my full time job and work part time. That meant more time with the munchkins... more time packing lunches, driving to school, driving to practice, helping with homework, being a team mom, and in general just more time to be around if they needed me. I was sooo excited. I had all these monstrous dreams of me getting up early every morning, getting a run out of the way and getting the kids' school stuff together before they woke up. Then I could drop them off and either, go to work if I needed, or go run errands and clean the house. I'd have dinner ready on the nights I was not working and my daughter would have her homework completed on the first day it was assigned. Oh yes, I was going to get this 'Mom' thing under control and it was going to be glorious.
One month later, I surrendered. Not only was I not succeeding at my perfect scenario of an involved and organized mommy, I had actually become MORE BUSY than I was before. I hadn't taken into account the fact that, even though I was getting rid of one job that took up almost all my time, I was adding about 10 more jobs to my plate.
I vividly remember one morning walking my preschooler up to his classroom and becoming super aware of my current situation:
I had on dirty workout clothes, my hair hadn't been washed in 3 days, I forgot lunch money for him, and I had already sent my daughter to school with a Lunchable for her lunch meal for about the fourth time that week. All that was missing was late homework (that also happened a few weeks later).
I was so confused! How could I be such a hot mess when I had a substantial amount of more time to be 'Momming?' Oh wait, maybe it's because there are 1,593,394 things to do between school and extracurricular activities and general childcare tasks on a daily basis. And then just when you kinda start getting the hang of things, it's time for Fall Break, or Winter Break, or Spring Break and all the hard work at organizing your family's life goes out the window. (It just so happens that I recently took on another part time job so I'm basically a 2 part-time job working mother of 2 kids. THERE ARE NO WORDS to explain this new schedule so that will have to be a later post.)
But you know what I realized about being a Hot Mess Mamma? I was only a complete mess because I was truly trying to do everything perfect and make life amazing for my babies. So I want to take this moment to officially declare that Hot Mess Mamma's are absolute Queens in my book. It means that you are TRYING! It means that you care and that you love your munchkins. And for that, you are an amazing mother and your children will be forever grateful for the love and support you provide... even if they don't exactly show that appreciation at the moment.
For the record, a lot of the moms that seem to have it all together are actually more of a hot mess than others, so don't judge them either. Non judging, in general, is typically a great rule to follow in life so just knock it off.
And one last thing, I am proud to say that I wouldn't be able to do this parenting thing without my hubby and to all those single parents out there, please read my earlier post A Note to Single Parents. But, I know I'm focusing on mom's and not dad's... and I'm not saying that dad's don't have an internal struggle with parenting. However, I do believe that a lot of dad's are able to compartmentalize things a little better than mom's so it's rare to see a noticeable 'Hot Mess Dad'... although I'm sure they exist.
So as you go about your business the next couple of weeks and you see a woman with the sad remains of a top knot barely hanging on her head, clinging to a half drank cold latte while her toddler runs around her feet screaming.... just stop and say a little prayer for peace over her because let's be honest, she could explode from insanity at any moment.
Lot's of love to those Hot Mess Mamma's reading this💟 You lovelies are inspiring!
*In harmonious response: "Hi Kirsty"*
I worked full time throughout both of my pregnancies and returned to working full time after Maternity Leave both times. Let me just state this fact: I don't care who you are or how much help you have, full time working mom's are Hot Mess Mamma's, no argument. Even if you think you have it all figured out and are good, you're still messing something up somewhere. (You're welcome for the encouragement).
But I was used to working full time and missing out on certain things with my munchkins. I hated it, but I got used to it. Like volunteering in preschool classroom parties, or going on field trips. And if I was really working hard at home and killing it as a mommy, then my work at my daytime job was lacking. There was never a good balance.
Well, ten months ago something magical happened. I won't bore you with the financial details, but it worked out that I was able to quit my full time job and work part time. That meant more time with the munchkins... more time packing lunches, driving to school, driving to practice, helping with homework, being a team mom, and in general just more time to be around if they needed me. I was sooo excited. I had all these monstrous dreams of me getting up early every morning, getting a run out of the way and getting the kids' school stuff together before they woke up. Then I could drop them off and either, go to work if I needed, or go run errands and clean the house. I'd have dinner ready on the nights I was not working and my daughter would have her homework completed on the first day it was assigned. Oh yes, I was going to get this 'Mom' thing under control and it was going to be glorious.
One month later, I surrendered. Not only was I not succeeding at my perfect scenario of an involved and organized mommy, I had actually become MORE BUSY than I was before. I hadn't taken into account the fact that, even though I was getting rid of one job that took up almost all my time, I was adding about 10 more jobs to my plate.
I vividly remember one morning walking my preschooler up to his classroom and becoming super aware of my current situation:
I had on dirty workout clothes, my hair hadn't been washed in 3 days, I forgot lunch money for him, and I had already sent my daughter to school with a Lunchable for her lunch meal for about the fourth time that week. All that was missing was late homework (that also happened a few weeks later).
I was so confused! How could I be such a hot mess when I had a substantial amount of more time to be 'Momming?' Oh wait, maybe it's because there are 1,593,394 things to do between school and extracurricular activities and general childcare tasks on a daily basis. And then just when you kinda start getting the hang of things, it's time for Fall Break, or Winter Break, or Spring Break and all the hard work at organizing your family's life goes out the window. (It just so happens that I recently took on another part time job so I'm basically a 2 part-time job working mother of 2 kids. THERE ARE NO WORDS to explain this new schedule so that will have to be a later post.)
But you know what I realized about being a Hot Mess Mamma? I was only a complete mess because I was truly trying to do everything perfect and make life amazing for my babies. So I want to take this moment to officially declare that Hot Mess Mamma's are absolute Queens in my book. It means that you are TRYING! It means that you care and that you love your munchkins. And for that, you are an amazing mother and your children will be forever grateful for the love and support you provide... even if they don't exactly show that appreciation at the moment.
For the record, a lot of the moms that seem to have it all together are actually more of a hot mess than others, so don't judge them either. Non judging, in general, is typically a great rule to follow in life so just knock it off.
And one last thing, I am proud to say that I wouldn't be able to do this parenting thing without my hubby and to all those single parents out there, please read my earlier post A Note to Single Parents. But, I know I'm focusing on mom's and not dad's... and I'm not saying that dad's don't have an internal struggle with parenting. However, I do believe that a lot of dad's are able to compartmentalize things a little better than mom's so it's rare to see a noticeable 'Hot Mess Dad'... although I'm sure they exist.
So as you go about your business the next couple of weeks and you see a woman with the sad remains of a top knot barely hanging on her head, clinging to a half drank cold latte while her toddler runs around her feet screaming.... just stop and say a little prayer for peace over her because let's be honest, she could explode from insanity at any moment.
Lot's of love to those Hot Mess Mamma's reading this💟 You lovelies are inspiring!
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